Sometimes You Just Have To Move On

Tuesdays article Sometimes You Just Have To Move On has some ideas about the ending of a relationship. Although it may be the end of your life toghether it is not the end of your own life. First and foremost there may be a chance to make up instead of break up when the smoke has settled. If not you will recover with help from supportive friends and relatives. Don´t just take all the blame on yourself for the breakup, remember it takes two to build a sustainable relationship with love and honesty. I hope todays article will help to heal your bleeding heart! I also urge you to take a look at the magic of making up which has helped over 50 000 people from 77 countries to get back together or to mend a broken heart.

Light&Love

Dick Scott

When the breakup of a relationship happens and you not only didn’t want it to happen, but you never saw it coming, you may spend a lot of time trying to figure out what went wrong. A huge part of this thinking is done because you want so much to have your ex back in your life. You want to fix things so that your relationship will be back on track and thriving again.

To begin with, trying to figure out what happened if you truly don’t know is a great way to start the healing process. It’s certainly an important one because you may absolutely have no idea what ended your relationship. You may have thought that everything was going along swimmingly and had no clue that there was anything out of whack. At least, you didn’t know until the day that your ex came to you and said he was leaving. Could you have really been so oblivious to any problems in the relationship that it was like being hit with a baseball bat that you never saw coming? It’s very possible for that to happen. In fact, it happens a lot and you shouldn’t feel badly if you fall into this category.

It’s important, though, that you learn to become more cognizant so that your next relationship doesn’t suffer the same consequences. If you were so caught up in such things as work or hobbies, you probably didn’t know that your partner was unhappy and feeling neglected. Of course, the smart thing would have been for him to approach you about this to see if it could be worked out. However, what probably happened is that he went searching for someone that was more willing to pay more attention to him than you were.

The next thing you may want to focus on is how to get him back. While it’s true that, in many instances, a relationship can be resurrected, it’s also true that many of them stay broken. If you’re positive that you want your ex back, there are things you can do to see if he will come back to you. On the other hand, if he’s already dating someone else, chances are slim that he’s going to return. In this case, the best thing you can do for yourself is to learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them in the future.

Sometimes, it’s just better to move on with your life and not look back wishing and wondering what could have been. Once something has passed through your life and exited on the other side, it’s usually smart to simply take the knowledge the experience imparted to you and file it away so that you don’t make those same errors in the future. You’ll have time to figure out what’s really important to you and that’s going to help keep your next relationship intact. Deal with your pain, heal, and move forward. That’s the way to build a positive future relationship.

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Ex has PTSD Recent breakup 3 tips on how to heal

Its no secret that ending a relationship is difficult, even if its an amicable split. But if youre fresh from a relationship where your partner suffered from PTSD, the breakup can be downright disorientating.

Here, were going to talk about healing. Not bitterness, or anguish, or woulda-coulda-shoulda. Its healthy and expected to experience some of those things during a split, but getting stuck there too long can do a number on your well-being.

While some of these tips can apply to any and all breakup woes, others are geared toward partners who may be experiencing indirect effects of being close to someone with post traumatic stress disorder.

Supporting someone with PTSD can sometimes compromise psychological state (especially if the sufferer is not receiving treatment), and breakups are notoriously difficult, but you can heal from all of it. Here are three tips to get you started.

1. Get help.

Of course, the default advice is to reach out to someone who can provide professional help. For many leaving relationships with post traumatic stress sufferers, this is important and critical advice. More often than not, PTSD affects both the sufferer and the care-givers. An honest self assessment about the extent of the impact can help you determine whether you could benefit from more structured care as you move on.

Even if you dont seek face-to-face professional guidance, there are many resources available for better understanding PTSD and its possible effect on you, the care-giver. Some examples are the book Shock Waves and Courage Under Fire. Even though these books are positioned towards individuals and families working through the complications of PTSD, theyre still useful resources for unpacking some of the complicated emotions and reactions that may be swirling around your head.

A quick note, though. Dont get too hung up on this stuff. Get educated, yes. Work through it. But also try to recognize when education is slipping into obsessive thinking about the past.

2. Write a letter. Dont send it.

One of the most challenging hurdles for relationships and PTSD is feeling an inability to connect. It affects sufferer and partner alike. In the aftermath of a breakup, this lack of connection can manifest into icy cold silence that haunts the partner.

A gut reaction may be to reach out. Get answers. Tie up loose ends.

In most cases, that wont happen. And it sucks. Chances are, the no contact rule will be your best option.

This is where writing a letter you dont send comes in handy. Scribble down all your feelings. Reflect on your past. Tell them what you want, what would make it all better.

An interesting thing may happen when you go to write your request that you think would solve it all. You may notice the request is not possible, really. That its a wish for a person who, if youre being honest, isnt there anymore. At least, not for the foreseeable future.

You may then slowly accept that, while your pain is valid, your wishes are unlikely to happen. And that you may gradually accept the relationships demise.

3. Ground yourself. (In a good way.)

Were not talking punishment here -- were talking about staying in the moment.

Chances are youve grown accustomed to navigating a world where flashbacks can throw everything off kilter. And now that youre away from the relationship, you may be having flashbacks of your own, trying desperately to make sense of what happened and what went wrong.

Caught up in an episode from the past? Ground yourself in the present.

Near a chair? Touch it. Grab a cup of coffee, perhaps. Maybe you would benefit from focusing on something in front of you. Others prefer to return to a mantra, or perhaps the lyrics of a song they really love.

Whatever brings you back to the present, use it. And stay with it. Allow thoughts of the past to fade.

PTSD is notoriously difficult on relationships, and the aftermath of a breakup where a partner was suffering from post traumatic stress can be similarly demanding. These tips are far from conclusive, but they should be a decent start for developing a new stage in your life that you can celebrate.

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