Dating As A Single Mom

As more and more single mothers start re-entering the dating arena, there are some tricky situations to maneuver through. These can be mothers that are either divorced or those that are single because they chose to be. For these women, dating can involve some pretty large hoops to jump through unless you’ve got live in help or a relative that just loves to babysit your kids for you. Actually, babysitting is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to coordinating all of the things that need to be taken care of before you can enjoy a night out on the town with a date. 

However, in spite of all the preparation for a date, single women continue to have a very successful social life that also includes dating. The first thing to remember is that any man who may be around your children at any point in time is someone that you need to be very sure about. You need to be certain that he’s safe and that he doesn’t have any sort of criminal history. It’s also a good idea to find out how he feels about kids before you start dating him. All of these things are very important and should be thoroughly checked into before ever going out on that first date. The last thing you want is to bring someone into your life and that of your children who has a less than stellar background. 

A problem that many single moms face when dating is dealing with a child that doesn’t want to share their mom with someone new. Now, obviously, you don’t want to upset your child that may already be dealing with the fallout from a divorce or death of a father. However, you do need to set some clear boundaries. It’s important for your child to understand that you’re more than just a mom and that you deserve to have some privacy of your own to get out and have some adult fun. You need to explain that you’ll always be there for them, but that there’s also a part of your life that belongs only to you. If all else fails and these problems escalate, you probably want to consider having your child speak with a counselor.

Last, but not least, if it begins to look as if a certain relationship may be heading down a path to something more permanent, start incorporating your child into your dating life. Once you feel that someone may become a serious part of your life, he needs to spend some time with your child so that they can become better acquainted. This needs to be done well ahead of time before making any such serious decisions as moving in together or getting married. If your child and your man get along well, the transition will be so much easier because they will have had time to get to know one another and won’t be strangers.  
As you can see, it’s much simpler to adjust to dating life as a single mom than you may have ever thought it would be. 

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Spotting A Stalker

Stalking has become one of the top criminal offenses in recent years and the statistics keep climbing. A lot of people want to blame this on the introduction of the Internet but the truth is that stalking has been going on many years before anyone ever heard of in home computers. Honestly, stalking has most likely been going on since the days of the cavemen. Of course, THOSE guys simply TOOK the women they wanted, and that was that. Things are a lot different now in spite of the fact that most stalkers still have that caveman mentality. Granted, anyone can be at risk for becoming a victim of a stalker. However, people that are active in the dating scene tend to be more susceptible. That’s not meant to be critical of people that enjoy dating. It’s just that these people are exposed to the possibility more. 

Many of these victims found themselves as the object of a stalker after beginning an online friendship. It really doesn’t matter whether these friendships stayed online or evolved into face to face meetings. If someone is Internet savvy enough, they can find out anything they want to know about someone. The only way you can be positive of being one hundred percent safe from people discovering things about you is if you hold a high government job. Even then, all of your secrets may not be safe. 

With online dating being so prevalent these days, it’s important to take some extra precautions. Now, women are typically the most common victims of stalking but there have been plenty of cases reported where men were the victims. That just means that everyone, no matter what gender you are or what your sexual persuasion is, should always exercise caution when meeting someone new. 

While a lot of times, the stalker seems perfectly normal at first, there may still be small signs that something’s a bit off. For example, if he starts immediately planning a future with you on the first date, you may want to back off pretty fast. Anytime someone attaches to you that quickly, it means something isn’t right. 

It’s not always that easy to spot these abnormalities, but if you find yourself constantly “running into” someone even in out of the way places, there’s a good chance you’re being followed and don’t realize it. If someone keeps calling you even though you’re constantly getting a new unlisted number, you might be in trouble. Also, don’t discount the arrival of unwanted gifts, although once things get to this stage, you’re probably going to need the help of the police and a restraining order. 

Something that you can usually spot in the beginning, though, is the way he looks at you. There’s an intensity that has no business being there so soon. If you notice this, or your intuition just tells you that something’s not right, don’t hesitate to cut off all contact on your end. The faster you do it the better.

Don’t feel dumb, though, if you do happen to attract a stalker. There are many instances in where you don’t even realize that you’ve come into contact with someone of this nature. It could simply be someone you passed in the grocery store or rode the subway with. Sometimes there’s just no way to know, but by following a few common sense rules, you can keep yourself safer. 

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