Are Your Friends Poison to Your Relationship

Sometimes, friends can get in the way of your relationship in a really big and lethal way. Its hard to find balance between life, love, family, and friends. Everyone wants a little bit of your time. 

You must work to find that perfect balance without inadvertently placing your relationship on the back burner. Keeping a safe line of demarcation between friends and your lover, can be a crucial secret for long-term success in your relationship and/or marriage. These small changes will make a big difference.

Stop Telling Your Best Friend Everything

While she is your best friend and you want to share the ups and downs of your life with her, the truth is that she doesnt love your man -- but she does love you. Shes going to hold a grudge against him for the things youve told her long after youve kissed, made up, forgiven, and forgotten. 

Shes going to still be hopping mad at him for some slight thats old news and completely gone with the wind as far as youre concerned. Shes going to remind you, constantly about how he isnt good enough for you, doesnt deserve you, and isnt treating you right. The problem is youre eventually going to begin believing her and start carrying grudges of your own.

Put Your Friend after Your Partner

Its true that your friend may have been there for you long before your partner. However, that doesnt change the fact that he needs to come before your friends if youre going to have a successful and long-lasting relationship.  

Your relationship needs to be a priority in your life not some afterthought that gets the leftover attention after everyone and everything else has had its share. Its hard to make time for everyone on your list of people to see, but sometimes its necessary.

Show Loyalty to Your Man

If you really want to make a favorable impression with your friend and the man you love, be loyal to him. Dont talk about the negatives around other people. Discuss any problems you have with him and present a wall of solidarity and support to the world. Youll never know how much of a difference it makes to him and how he feels about your relationship.

Incorporate these small changes into your relationship and see for yourself what a difference they make. Youll be surprised at how noticeable the changes in warmth, love, and affection are in the aftermath of a few small adjustments like these. 

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Why You Must Have a Conversation About Money Before You Move in Together

For any couple, moving in together is a big but very natural step of the relationship. It means spending more time together, more privacy and a space of their own. The thought of living with the person one loves is exhilarating but is always tempered by challenges, that can be avoided or dealt with before they rock the relationship.

 

Of all the issues that may arise in the course of a life together, none causes more strife than money. Despite finances being an integral part of living together, this topic is hardly ever discussed by couples when moving in together. Understandably, it is an awkward and uncomfortable conversation and there is nothing less romantic, but in order to ensure that life together runs smoothly, it is a necessary discomfort. The following are some of the things you must discuss before moving in together.

Debt
Once a couple moves in together, it rarely occurs to them that their previous lives and the decisions they made can have an impact on their new life together. Moving in together makes financial boundaries vague and debt suddenly effects both parties regardless of whose name is attached to  it. 

In an open discussion about money, debt on either or both sides should be discussed in detail so a to prevent it from becoming a burden and also to chart out a concise financial plan to pay it off so that it does not make future plans difficult or impossible which would only lead to resentment and infighting.

Why You Must Have a Conversation About Money Before You Move in Together

Living Expenses
Half a century ago, there would have been no need for this discussion as it was the mans obligation to provide for the home. This was well understood and the demographics at the time demanded, if not allowed it. Today things are radically different with both men and women carrying their own weight financially which means living expenses will likely be catered for by both parties. 

Every couple must, however, build their own financial plan depending on factors like how much each makes. Some may find that combining all expenses and splitting the cost down the middle works while some may decide to assign specific bills to one party such as rent and electricity while the rest are the responsibility of the other. Either way, a plan cannot be put in place without a thorough discussion on finances.

Individual Spending Habits
Consider a couple living together and sharing a joint account or a credit card. It would not be unusual for either of them to spend money in a manner that the other would not approve of. The woman might spend what the man considers too much money on accessories such as handbags and shoes while he on the other hand might spend what she considers an obscene amount of money on sports gear. When there isn’t enough money for all of this, each party will expect that the other will spend less while they likely continue to fund their hobbies and personal interests. This will inevitably cause a rift and even power struggles which can only be avoided if a couple living together discuss finances specifically shared resources. 

It is important that limits are set, if the money is shared, while some may prefer to keep separate some of their money for individual spending. Regardless, for the relationship and the life together to survive any quarrels over money, a couple must be willing to have an open and exhaustive talk about money

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10 Ways to Embrace Square One

You’re moving along on the relationship game board, fairly well into the game, when all of a sudden you’re thrown back to square one: the relationship is over. Regardless of who is to blame, it’s done. 
The dust has settled, all of the “You left this at my house” items have been returned (or trashed depending on how the breakup went) and you are left sitting alone. 

Knowing how to move forward in your life and how to navigate the minefield of starting a new relationship isn’t always obvious, especially when you’re mid-breakup. 

If you’re in a wonderful relationship that is going to last forever, keep these tips for your poor friends who will most likely need it at some point. Plus, then you’ll have it in case you ever need it. Not that you will. But, in case.

1. Let it go. Not just the catchy tune from an animated movie, these three little words can save you a world of hurt. Let go of the relationship and free yourself from its clutches. 

If you were the “breakee”, don’t go and beg the “breaker” to take you back. Rarely does this work, and if it did, the resulting second breakup is just worse somehow. Accept the reality and start to heal. 

2. Make peace. It is ok to have a tidal wave of emotions, and you will have them for a while. That’s ok! Give yourself permission to use all of your feelings – just don’t give yourself permission to act on them. Getting angry at the “breaker”? No problem. Smashing all the windows in breaker’s car? Not a good idea. 

3. Do something. Now is a great time to try something new. Always wanted to learn how to line dance? Take a class. Go on a weekend cruise with a couple of friends. Hike through the mountains.

10 Ways to Embrace Square One

4. Career boost. Pour yourself into your work. Offer to take on an extra project, or take a class or certification course that will help you advance in your workplace. Success at work will make you feel better about yourself, and will help your career advance. 

5. Get chatty. It’s not a good idea to discuss every detail of your sordid breakup story with everyone. (Plus, the cashier at the grocery didn’t want that much information when she asked “How are you today?”). 

Call up a trusted friend or schedule a counselling session with a trained professional to talk about your feelings and pain. Airing your emotions will help you recover from the breakup faster. 

6. Stay single. Often, the idea of being alone makes the breakup feel even worse, so women will rush into a new relationship to help ease the pain. Take some time to do a little soul-searching, and to evaluate what you are looking for in a relationship before jumping back into the dating world. 

7. Say no. Drowning your sorrows can seem like a very good idea when the pain of a breakup is still raw. Using drugs or alcohol as a way to forget your breakup or to dull the pain of losing your relationship seems like a good idea at the time. 

The long term consequences aren’t worth the few hours of forgetting. Hangovers, addiction and embarrassing behavior can all be the results of binge drinking. (Bitter, drunken woman doing karaoke is never good. Remember this.)

Square one is never a fun place to be, but eventually you’ll be ready to start the game again – just make sure you’re ready first. 

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Why You Must Control Your Jealousy if You Want to Get Your Ex Back

Jealousy can be a huge problems for relationships. The green-eyed monster is especially problematic when we live in a world that includes Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, text messaging, instant messaging, email and so many other ways for people to communicate with each other - including members of the opposite sex. 

More and more jobs expect professional employees to have ready access to information at all hours of the day and night and many people must go back into the office after hours on occasion, or never seem to leave the office on other occasions. It leaves the doors wide open for jealous spouses and lovers to leap to the wrong conclusions quite often.

Some Jealousy Can be Good for the Relationship

While your significant other is probably glad to know you care enough for the green-eyed monster to rear its ugly head on occasion, its important to avoid making scenes, jumping to conclusions, and levy accusations and allegations without proof. The key is to find balance. You want your partner to know you care, but avoid going overboard with displays of jealousy lest they alarm your partner and cause doubts about the relationship. Trust, after all, is also important. When jealousy is too "over the top" it leaves your partner feeling as though you lack trust.

Reigning in the Green-Eyed Monster

The key is to reign in your jealousy before it becomes problematic. Consider these actions to get your jealousy under control.

Jealousy

* Breathe deeply. Whenever your jealous thoughts are about to spiral out of control, take a moment to breathe in and out slowly and deeply. Focus all your attention on breathing for the next several breaths. This not only helps you calm your raging thoughts but also provides important seconds for clearer thinking to kick in.

* Speak calmly. This is not the time to incite violence or make threatening statements. Let your partner know youre uncomfortable and explain why in a reasonable tone. Most partners will show respect for your feelings, even if your partner believes they are unfounded, and attempt to get out of the situation if its possible. 

* Be proactive. When you feel the ugly head of jealousy making an appearance, start looking for thoughts and feelings that will cancel it out. The more active role you take in eliminating jealousy from becoming a problem for your relationship, the less likely it is to become one.

If jealousy has already caused big problems in your relationship, you can still get your ex back once you get your jealousy under control.  Then you just need to follow these simple instructions to have your ex back in your arms in no time.

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