The first thing you’ll need to do is try to get him to talk to you. If there’s an obvious reason for his depression, it may help to talk through the cause with you. You might be able to even help him get to the bottom of what’s causing him to feel depressed, which can lead to a recovery. However, if he’s not interested in talking to you, don’t push the issue. Instead, it will be up to you to try to find someone that he WILL talk to. Don’t feel upset or hurt that he’s shut you out. There will always be times when he’ll need more than you in his life.
Lots of times, helping someone else will have you absorbing lots of negativity, and that includes handling your boyfriend’s depression. You must not forget to take care of yourself as well. Listen, talk and whatever else he may need, but don’t let yourself be sucked into the abyss along with him. Go out with your friends and have some fun whether he goes with you or not. Conduct your life as normally as possible and stay upbeat even though your boyfriend may still be as low as you’ve ever seen him.
There are a few danger signs that will tell you when your boyfriend’s depression has crossed from unhappiness to reason for alarm. These include:
Not eating enough
Sleeping too much
Lack of interest in hygiene or bathing
Staying isolated from everyone
Talking about suicide
If your boyfriend is showing any of these symptoms, it’s time for you to contact a doctor. On the chance that you see all of these symptoms, particularly talking about suicide, you need to get immediate professional help. If this means calling an ambulance, that’s what you need to do. You may want to try contacting any family members that are aware of the situation and won’t mind physically hauling him to the hospital. While he may be upset with you for taking action at the moment, once he’s started recovering, he’ll understand why you did what you did.
It’s difficult to deal with the depression of another person, but it’s particularly hard when it’s someone you love. Most of the time, people can recover from their bouts of depression with the right type of help. However, you should also know that there are a significant number of people that don’t pull out of their despair for whatever reason. If that turns out to be your boyfriend, it may be that you’ll need to move on from this relationship in order to save yourself. It may sound harsh and uncaring, but when someone refuses to be helped, you can’t allow your life to end and be dragged down with him.
If you are in pain and confused?
Here’s some good news…
Did you know that most relationships CAN be salvaged? You may find it difficult to believe that almost every break up for whatever reason…infidelity, plain old lost passion, loss of interest, a stolen heart and worse…even the worst situations you can imagine…like men serving prison sentences have salvaged their relationships. Yes, even Ex-cons have got back together with girlfriends and wives after being away for years!
There is hope…
Now I can almost see you shaking your head in disbelief…
And it’s okay…let me ask?
Don’t you know couples that have gotten back together? A girl that has taken a guy back?…or vice versa?
I bet you do…and here’s the strange real clincher…
Do you remember why they broke up in the first place? I bet you know at least one guy or gal that took their lover back after an affair…or unfaithfulness…or worse even?
Think about it for a sec…
Sure! And I bet you know of…or have heard of at least one girl that has taken a guy back that REALLY should not have…you know the ones I am talking about…(and I know this is kind of dark)… the girls or guys that are in verbally or physically abusive relationships.
Now, that is some really dark stuff and I am not recommending to anyone to take someone back if the relationship was abusive…I am using it as a point that almost NO SITUATION is unsalvageable…
“Couples reunite every day REGARDLESS of the situation!”
Seriously, Doesn’t that make sense? That if most of us can think of couples that have gotten back together…under even some horrible circumstances…that there could be somehidden recipe, or secret even, to reigniting passion and recapturing lost love?
Now…I am not saying they were holding some “secret love spell” book and doing weird chants…not at all…at the same time somehow, by MOSTLY accident they said and did the RIGHT THINGS at the RIGHT TIME…and won back the heart of their lover…or at least created the circumstances where their ex gave them a second chance.
Allow me to repeat…they did this by mostly ACCIDENT!
Imagine…
What if? What they said…and what they did…could be “bottled” so to speak? And then you could “unbottle” it and put it to use? To erase old hurts…to reignite passion again…to turn back to a time when your relationship was fresh, new and exciting.
Yes…A Magic Love Recipe…in a sense…
You see there IS a “recipe for love” as well as a recipe for winning back and keeping some ones interest, desire, passion, heart and love…
What they did by “accident” can be repeated over and over on PURPOSE!
And you know what?
If I were you…I would be somewhat skeptical right now…that’s totally fine! I am going to show you some concrete proof. Just bear with me okay?
Do you have these symptoms?
-Leaving the radio off because every song makes you cry
-Loss of appetite
-Binge eating for comfort
-Calling your ex several times a day
-Text messaging and emailing constantly (Text Message Terrorism)
-Constantly checking your email and voice mail to see if he/she called
-Not going out because you are afraid to miss a call
-Thinking non-stop about why they REALLY left you
-Feeling massively depressed
-Feeling urges to spy on them
-Endlessly rehearsing what you should have said
-Endlessly rehearsing what you will say if you bump into them
…and when you do get a hold of them, it usually turns ugly because without a clear plan of what you are supposed to do…what happens? P-A-N-I-C…defensiveness…arguments…and then it gets really nasty.
Do you make these mistakes with your ex?
-We try to convince them we are the love of their life
-We will apologize profusely for everything
-Promise to change for good this time
-Try to get them to see that it wasn’t really our fault
-Even beg with them to take us back
…and of course with every word we utter, regardless of our intention, the more and more defensive, angry and distant they become.
Please know…this is not your fault! You weren’t taught this in school. You probably weren’t taught this by your parents…and there is no “get your ex back” night school…
Yeah?
And it is really a shame too because what could be more important than love?..Cars?…Money?…Clothes?…ALGEBRA?
So why? Are there all kinds of books, magazines and help on fixing a car,managing money and all the latest fashions, yet very little USEFUL information on how to fix a broken relationship…manage your emotions or getting the love of your life back?
Crazy huh?
And now as you will soon see…all that has changed.
“T Dub” Discovers His “Love Recipe”
Please allow me to introduce myself…My name is T.W. Jackson, I know kinda weird…it’s a long story…you can just call me “T Dub”…I want to say right off the bat, that I am not a psychologist, Doctor or some relationship guru…In fact I royally piss off the academic types and I’ll tell you why in a second…
I have been a military brat…or in the military for a majority of my life. In fact I joined the US Navy when I was a ripe old 17 years of age. Because of my life long military experience I’ve had dozens of homes…in 11countries… and lived long term in 5 states in the U.S.
And because I have lived in so many places and changed schools so often as a kid…I had to learn…and learn REALLY FAST…how to get along with people. And people from ALL WALKS OF LIFE. I can sit down and have some sake with my friend in Tokyo…or pop open a can of suds and fish Lake Dardanelle with an Arkansas “redneck” buddy of mine…makes no difference…
More importantly…I became really good at reading people, understanding what makes them “tick” and even got to a point where I could influence their behavior and actions.
In fact, I got quite good at doing this, so good in fact that I was the “go to” guy whenever my friends had just about any kind of “people problem”…I kind of felt like the male version of “Dear Abby”…
Maybe you even know someone a little like me?…someone that you go to when you have “people problems”…
Anyway…I got a ton of practice keeping relationships together…and putting them back together after they had come apart…because the divorce rate for military couples is MUCH HIGHER than average.
WARNING: Unconventional Methods!
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