Being There Helping Your Partner Come Out To Their Parents

A great many gay people these days are becoming more and more comfortable with being public about their sexual orientation, but there are still a multitude of families that harbor traditional values. If you find yourself in a relationship with a gay man or woman that is still in the closet, there are a few things you can do to ease the situation and handle it with maturity.

The most important thing for you to do is not push your lover too hard to out themselves. Business in the bedroom really is personal. Much how a young person wouldn’t want to, or need to, tell their parents that they lost their virginity, being homosexual really isn’t that different. It’s personal. If you really find it important for them to come out to their parents, then tell them why. Tell them how you want to be with them openly, without having to hide or feel like an embarrassment. Let them know that it makes you feel small and unwanted to sneak around or pretend to be a “friend.”  The first step is talking about it and how you feel.
If they decide to come out, the next step is keeping drama to a minimum. You may find yourself offended, or even intimidated by the views of the family, but if your partner wants you to be there, stay strong and confident.

You want to be friendly regardless of any harsh or hurt words that may be thrown your way. Some families come to terms with it easier, as it is becoming more modern and accepted, but you need to be aware that some families can over react a good bit. It may be hard to remain cool and collected under certain pressure or criticisms, but the best thing you can do is try.
If your partner decides to do it alone, and you are concerned about how the family will react, stay close to them. Keep your phone on you in case they need you, and stay within a close distance of their home. Their family may not react too poorly, but it never hurts to be cautious. Some families are just better off handling it alone.

There’s really not a wrong way for your partner to go about it, because once it’s said, that’s it. As soon as the words are out there, there’s no taking them back. So be sure your partner knows that there won’t be any going back when it’s all said and done.
One of the hardest things about being in a relationship with someone who is still in the closet is if they decide to stay there. If you talk to your partner about your concerns and you tell them how it makes you feel, but they still decide to stay hidden, then you’re going to have to make a choice. Would you be able to hide with them, or would you need to live out loud? That’s the decision you’ll have to make.

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