When you’re already in love with someone by the time you realize that he has an issue, it’s more difficult to withdraw from the relationship. Unless the person becomes hurtful and abusive, it may be almost impossible to find the strength to leave a situation that’s not the best for you. Of course, everything is different if your partner is willing and determined to seek the help he needs in order to kick his addiction. In that case, it makes all kinds of sense to stick it out with your partner to provide the much needed support that can, sometimes, help facilitate the treatment.
On the other hand, if your partner doesn’t acknowledge that he has a problem, let alone agree to seek treatment for it, you may need to make a difficult decision. It’s harmful to you if you stay in a situation of this type with no hope for it to improve. No matter how much you may love someone, if he has an addiction and refuses to admit it and seek help for it, you’ll only drag yourself down, too, if you decide to remain. Should you decide to leave, there’s no need to feel guilty because you’ll leave knowing that you did all you could do.
Now, in the event that the signs of an addiction were evident from the first meeting you had with this person, and you still allowed yourself to become involved with him, then shame on you! Why would you do something like that to yourself? This is definitely a “What were you thinking?” moment. It’s one thing to have the situation sneak up on you. It’s an entirely different one to go into it with your eyes wide open.
Now, if you’re in a relationship with someone that’s showing some definite signs of a serious addiction, all you can really do is try to convince him to get the help that he probably so desperately needs. In the meantime, you can also do something for yourself. There are some support groups formed specifically for the loved ones of people with addictions. Examples of these are Al-Anon and Nar-Anon. If you’ve made the decision to stay in this relationship, it’s vital that you contact a support group that can help you deal with the situation.
If you decide that you need to leave the relationship, do so when you’ll feel less threatened or less prone to being manipulated. You can help someone you love only so much. Then you must take care of yourself.
If you are in pain and confused?
Did you know that most relationships CAN be salvaged? You may find it difficult to believe that almost every break up for whatever reason…infidelity, plain old lost passion, loss of interest, a stolen heart and worse…even the worst situations you can imagine…like men serving prison sentences have salvaged their relationships. Yes, even Ex-cons have got back together with girlfriends and wives after being away for years!
There is hope…
Now I can almost see you shaking your head in disbelief…
And it’s okay…let me ask?
Don’t you know couples that have gotten back together? A girl that has taken a guy back?…or vice versa?
I bet you do…and here’s the strange real clincher…
Do you remember why they broke up in the first place? I bet you know at least one guy or gal that took their lover back after an affair…or unfaithfulness…or worse even?
Think about it for a sec…
Sure! And I bet you know of…or have heard of at least one girl that has taken a guy back that REALLY should not have…you know the ones I am talking about…(and I know this is kind of dark)… the girls or guys that are in verbally or physically abusive relationships.
Now, that is some really dark stuff and I am not recommending to anyone to take someone back if the relationship was abusive…I am using it as a point that almost NO SITUATION is unsalvageable…
“Couples reunite every day REGARDLESS of the situation!”
Seriously, Doesn’t that make sense? That if most of us can think of couples that have gotten back together…under even some horrible circumstances…that there could be somehidden recipe, or secret even, to reigniting passion and recapturing lost love?
Now…I am not saying they were holding some “secret love spell” book and doing weird chants…not at all…at the same time somehow, by MOSTLY accident they said and did the RIGHT THINGS at the RIGHT TIME…and won back the heart of their lover…or at least created the circumstances where their ex gave them a second chance.
Allow me to repeat…they did this by mostly ACCIDENT!
Imagine…
What if? What they said…and what they did…could be “bottled” so to speak? And then you could “unbottle” it and put it to use? To erase old hurts…to reignite passion again…to turn back to a time when your relationship was fresh, new and exciting.
Yes…A Magic Love Recipe…in a sense…
You see there IS a “recipe for love” as well as a recipe for winning back and keeping some ones interest, desire, passion, heart and love…
What they did by “accident” can be repeated over and over on PURPOSE!
And you know what?
If I were you…I would be somewhat skeptical right now…that’s totally fine! I am going to show you some concrete proof. Just bear with me okay?
Do you have these symptoms?
-Leaving the radio off because every song makes you cry
-Loss of appetite
-Binge eating for comfort
-Calling your ex several times a day
-Text messaging and emailing constantly (Text Message Terrorism)
-Constantly checking your email and voice mail to see if he/she called
-Not going out because you are afraid to miss a call
-Thinking non-stop about why they REALLY left you
-Feeling massively depressed
-Feeling urges to spy on them
-Endlessly rehearsing what you should have said
-Endlessly rehearsing what you will say if you bump into them
…and when you do get a hold of them, it usually turns ugly because without a clear plan of what you are supposed to do…what happens? P-A-N-I-C…defensiveness…arguments…and then it gets really nasty.
Do you make these mistakes with your ex?
-We try to convince them we are the love of their life
-We will apologize profusely for everything
-Promise to change for good this time
-Try to get them to see that it wasn’t really our fault
-Even beg with them to take us back
…and of course with every word we utter, regardless of our intention, the more and more defensive, angry and distant they become.
Please know…this is not your fault! You weren’t taught this in school. You probably weren’t taught this by your parents…and there is no “get your ex back” night school…
Yeah?
And it is really a shame too because what could be more important than love?..Cars?…Money?…Clothes?…ALGEBRA?
So why? Are there all kinds of books, magazines and help on fixing a car,managing money and all the latest fashions, yet very little USEFUL information on how to fix a broken relationship…manage your emotions or getting the love of your life back?
Crazy huh?
And now as you will soon see…all that has changed.
“T Dub” Discovers His “Love Recipe”
Please allow me to introduce myself…My name is T.W. Jackson, I know kinda weird…it’s a long story…you can just call me “T Dub”…I want to say right off the bat, that I am not a psychologist, Doctor or some relationship guru…In fact I royally piss off the academic types and I’ll tell you why in a second…
I have been a military brat…or in the military for a majority of my life. In fact I joined the US Navy when I was a ripe old 17 years of age. Because of my life long military experience I’ve had dozens of homes…in 11countries… and lived long term in 5 states in the U.S.
And because I have lived in so many places and changed schools so often as a kid…I had to learn…and learn REALLY FAST…how to get along with people. And people from ALL WALKS OF LIFE. I can sit down and have some sake with my friend in Tokyo…or pop open a can of suds and fish Lake Dardanelle with an Arkansas “redneck” buddy of mine…makes no difference…
More importantly…I became really good at reading people, understanding what makes them “tick” and even got to a point where I could influence their behavior and actions.
In fact, I got quite good at doing this, so good in fact that I was the “go to” guy whenever my friends had just about any kind of “people problem”…I kind of felt like the male version of “Dear Abby”…
Maybe you even know someone a little like me?…someone that you go to when you have “people problems”…
Anyway…I got a ton of practice keeping relationships together…and putting them back together after they had come apart…because the divorce rate for military couples is MUCH HIGHER than average.
WARNING: Unconventional Methods!
At this point, I must WARN YOU…STRONGLY WARN YOU…my advice and methods are VERY unconventional. I get relationship counselors and the like REALLY ANGRY because they are charging $50 to $100 an hour (sometimes for months and even years) and I can whisper just one of my methods in my friends ear…he DOES IT… And next thing you know… he’s back home, laying back on the couch and watching HOUSE with his fiance on Monday nights.
Now you are free to make up your own mind about me. I just don’t believe that any amount of sitting in a classroom can make up for the REAL WORLD experience that I have under my belt…
I mean, what’s a more valuable experience?…Listening to a lecture on libido? Or BEING THERE when my buddy’s girlfriend is chucking his clothes and skivvies out the bedroom window because she thinks he was with some tart the night before?
I don’t know about you, my money is on the guy with the real world experience any day.
Now, if you are hanging out with me here today, I am guessing you have “relationship troubles” too? If you do…I think I can help…
Here’s how I can help you…
If you have broken up and want to get your guy or gal back, obviously I can’t talk too or be with everyone, I just don’t have enough time…but I have done what I believe to be the next best thing…
I have put my years of experience…into a really easy to follow… love recipe for”getting back together”…and again I forewarn you right now…these are techniques and strategies that are NOT conventional wisdom…and I doubt you have ever read or heard these techniques before.
…and I’ll tell you…
this stuff works!…maybe too well?
Frankly, I get a little freaked out about just how well it works…and worry that it may be used for less than honorable intentions. I mean I want to help GOOD people…I don’t want to help JERKS get girls back that would be better off without them. I do NOT want to help “psycho chick” steal away a married man.
Like a knife, these techniques and principles can be used for great good or grave harm.
This is NOT FOR
-Stalkers
-Ex Convicts
-People with severe mental problems
-Other Crazies, Cuckoos or Whack Jobs
Okay?
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